Thursday, April 28, 2011

Ultimate Love Letter…


Awesome mail…but d best part is signature
...

(By a Programmer...  )

Sweetheart ,

I`ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time I`ve been lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now.

My life is an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless.

You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well.

Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power.

When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. /*which I never experienced before.*/

With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are linked together, I¡¯ll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life.

Also don`t bother about the firewall which may be created by our parents as I¡¯ve strong hacking capabilities by which I`ll ultimately break their security passwords and make them agree for our marriage .


Regards,
Software Programmer
Today This company
Tomorrow That Company
But always want ur   company!

New version of "Give me some sunshine-3 idiots"



Saari umr hum  
office mein mar  gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do  
jeene do  
Saari umr hum  
office mein mar  gaye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do  
jeene do  

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….  

Give me some flight  
Give me some train  
Give me another chance  
I wanna go home once again  

Give me some flight  
Give me some train  
Give me another chance  
I wanna go home once again  

Kandhon ko laptop  
Ke bojh ne  jhukaya
Client se jhoot bolna tho  khud
Manager ne  sikhaya

4.5 ya 5 rating laaoge to chhuti, varna kismat  futi
Kaam kar kar ke pada Ungaliyon  pe
REVIEW, SCREEN aur REWORK ka  chaala

Is Project ne to saala poora..  
Poora bheja paka  daala

Career to  gaya
GirlFriend bhi  gayi
Ek pal to ab  humein
jeene do jeene do  

Saari umr hum  
office main jee  liye
Ek pal to ab humein jeene do  
jeene do  

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….  

Give me some flight  
Give me some train  
Give me another chance  
I wanna go home once again  

Give me some flight  
Give me some train  
Give me another chance  
I wanna go home once again  

Na na na….Na na na….Na na na….Na na nana na….  
  


Tintumonium





Dad to Tintumon: When I beat you how did you control your anger?
Tintumon: I start cleaning the toilet.
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Tintumon: I clean it with your tooth brush.
 
 
Dad: Do u know how 2 swim?
Tintumon: No.
Dad: A dog is better than u! It can swim.
Tintumon: So do u know how 2 swim?
Dad: For sure!
Tintumon: Then, what's the difference between u and a dog?
 
 
Tintumon called FM radio & said
"I've found a purse with Rs.15000/- a credit card & an ID card of Mr.Mani, No.13,Halls rd,kannur….
Radio jocky : How honest ….so you want to return his purse…?
Tintumon : no……. i just wanted to dedicate a sad song for him…
 
 
Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad," tinumon said finally, "if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you up …"
"Yes, son?" the father said expectantly.
"What bus should I take home?" Tintumon finished.
 
 
Tintumon was asked to write a sign board for the traffic near the school.
He wrote"Drive carefully! Don't kill the students, wait for the teachers"
 
 
Prof.: Chemical symbol of Barium?
Tintumon:BA
Prof.: For Sodium?
Tintumon:NA
Prof.: What will we get if 1 atom of Barium & 2 atoms of Sodium combines?
Tintumon:"BANANA"

The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
“There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning,Wouldn’t it be better to hear one at a time?”
Tintumon shouted, “Okay – you start.”

Teacher: Imagine u r a millionaire. Write ur life history.
Tintumon didn’t write.
Teacher: why are you not writing?
Tintumon : I’m waiting 4 my secretary 2 take notes….

 

 
PASSIVE VOICE
teacher: Write the passive voice of " I made a mistake"
Tintumon: " I was made by a mistake"
 
 
PROFESSOR
A professor to tintumon: "what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?"
Tintumon: "JIMBALAKDI PAMBA"
professor: "I don’t understand anything"
Tintumon: "same 2 you"
 
 
PTA Meeting
Tintumon: Dad, there is a small PTA meeting at school tomorrow…..
Dad: Wat do u mean by a small PTA meeting ?
Tintumon: its… just u, me & the Principal !
 
 
Techy Tintumon
Teacher: Write a C program to prevent TITANIC from sinking..
Tintumon:Declare the variable TITANIC as float…!









Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Cell Phone using awareness presentation, Hope this will helpful for you...........


Subject: Cell Phone using awareness presentation, Hope this will helpful for you...........





 



                      Please  
                   Must Read…………..
 















Mobile Phones- Handle With Care!!!

Subject: Cell Phone using awareness presentation, Hope this will helpful for you...........





 



                      Please  
                   Must Read…………..
 
  

 

Friday, February 18, 2011

INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100 (2050 A.D.)

 Year : 2050                                                                
                                                                           
 Place : IBM , USA   

(Two Americans talking)                                                   
                                                                           
 Currency Conversion Rate : INR 1 Rs = USD $ 100                            
                                                                           
 Alex: Hi John, you didn't come yesterday to office?                       
                                                                            
 John: Yeah, I was in Indian Embassy for stamping.                         
                                                                           
 Alex: Oh really, what happened, I heard that nowadays it has become very strict.                                                                    
                                                                           
 John: Yeah, but I managed to get it.                                      
                                                                            
 Alex: How long it took to get it stamped?                                 
                                                                           
 John: Oh, it was nasty man, long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front    of me and they played with him like anything. That's why it got delayed. I  went there at 2 AM itself and waited and returned by 4 PM .               
                                                                           
 Alex: Really? In India , it is a matter of an hour to get stamped for USA 
                                                                           
 John: Yeah, but that is because who in India will be interested in coming   to USA man, their economy has been booming.                                
                                                                           
 Alex: So, when are you leaving?                                           
                                                                            
 John: Anytime, after receiving my tickets from the client in India and you  know, I will be getting a chance to fly Air-India. Sort of dream come true.                                                                     
                                                                            
 Alex: How long are you going to stay in India!                    
                                                                           
 John: What do you mean by how long? I will be settled in India, my  company has promised me that they will process my Hara Patta ..(green card)                                                                     
                                                                            
 Alex: Really, lucky person man, it is very difficult to get a Hara Patta in India .                                                                
                                                                           
 John: Yeah, that's why, I am planning to marry an Indian girl there.      
                                                                           
 Alex: But you can find lots of US girls in Hyderabad , Bangalore and Mumbai.                                                                    
                                                                           
 John: But, I prefer Indian girls because they are beautiful and cultured. 
                                                                            
 Alex: Where did you get the offer, Hyderabad?                             
                                                                           
 John: Yeah, salary is good there, but cost of living is quite high, it is   Rs. 2000/- for a single room accommodation.                               
                                                                           
 Alex: I see, that's too much for US people, Rs.1/- =$100/-. Oh God! What  
 about in Bangalore, Mumbai?                                                
                                                                           
 John: No idea, but it is less than what we have in Hyderabad. It is like    the world headquarters of software                                         
                                                                           
 Alex: I heard, almost all the Indians are having one personal Robot for   
 help.                                                                     
                                                                            
 John: You can get a BMW car for Rs. 5000/-, and a personal Robot for less   than Rs.7500/-. But my dream is to purchase Ambassador, which costs Rs.2,00,000/- but has got a lovely design.                                    
                                                                           
 Alex: By the way, who is your client?                                     
                                                                            
 John: Subbarao and Apparao Associates, a pure Indian company, specialising  in Embedded Software.                                                     
                                                                           
 Alex: Oh, really, lucky to work in a pure Indian company. They are really 
 intelligent and unlike American Bodyshoppers who have opened their        
 Fly-by-night outfits in India . Indian companies pay you in full even when
 you are on bench.                                                          
                                                                           
 My friend Paul Allen, it seems, used his bench time to visit Bihar, the   
 most livable place in India , probably world. There you have full freedom
 and no restrictions. You can do whatever you want!
 I wonder how that state has perfected that system.             
 John: Yeah man! you are right. I hope our America also follows their      footsteps.                                                                
                                                                           
 Alex: How are you going to cope with their language?                      
                                                                           
 John: Why not? From my school days I have been learning Hindi as my first language here at New York. At the Consulate they tested my proficiency in  Hindi and were quite impressed by my cent per cent score in TOHIL i.e.      Test of Hindi as International Language.                                                                                                               
 Alex: So, you are going to have fun there.                                
                                                                           
 John: Yeah, I will be travelling in the world's fastest train, world's      largest theme park, and the famous Bollywood where you can see actors       like, Hrithik, Shah Rukh Khan and all. Esselworld is also near Bollywood. 
                                                                           
 Alex: You know, the PM is scheduled to visit US next year, he may then    
 relax the number of visas.                                                
                                                                           
 John: That's true. Last month, Narayana Murthy visited White House and      donated Rs. 2000/- for infrastructure development at aSiliconValleyand has  promised more if we follow the model of High-                               Tech City of Bangalore . Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very  lucky person.                                                              
                                                                           
 Alex: But, Indian government is planning to split Narayanamurthy's        
 Infosys.                                                                   
                                                                           
 John: He is a hard worker man; he can build any number of Infosys like      this. Every minute he is getting Rs. 1000/-. It seems, if you keep all his  money converted as Rs. 100/- notes you can reach Pluto.                   
                                                                           
 Alex: OK, Good Luck John.                                                 
                                                                            
 John: Same to you Alex. And don't go to Consulate in a "Kurta Pyjama"       because they will think you are too Indianised and may doubt you will       never come back and hence your Non-Immigrant Visa may get rejected. But     don't forget to say " Namaste, aap kaise hai " to the Visa officer at       Window 5. It seems he likes that and will not give you a visa if you don't
 greet him that way.